Article DetailsHappy Cinco De Mayo |
| Date Added: June 28, 2008 05:00:08 PM |
| Author: Brunette |
| Category: Blogs: Personal |
| Guess where I am? NOT AT WORK. I showed up this morning ready to start off the day on the right foot. I even came prepared wearing my Valentino Rock ‘N Rose perfume. Normally I wear that on dates, but I needed a scent that lifted my spirits. I wore a pair of black trousers; a green wrap around shirt and black heels from Aldo (FYI their shoes suck) with my sterling silver Tiffany dog tag engraved “Miss Bitch” (I faced the engraved side towards me so no one could read it) I looked cute.I arrived at 9:10 because I didn’t start until 9:30 and the moment I walked in the door country music was blearing. I needed something to calm me down, so I went in to the break room and prepared a peppermint tea for myself. I asked my boss for my benefit information (specifically my 401K) which was not there on Friday. She seemed aggravated and agitated that I had the nerve to ask for it (probably because she still didn’t have it). So, I began asking her general questions about vesting and company match. She had no clue. I wondered how she manages her own account if she didn’t know this basic information. As someone who just left a career as a financial advisor I am baffled that people participate in profit sharing, stock options and other investments and don’t have a clue on what they are, how much is going in to them, how they work etc. I’m getting off topic here. This is not free financial advice time or the Suzie Orman show. I decided to check my home phone (yes, I still have one) to see if I had any messages to kill the time. I had several from early last week including one from a potential employer. I went outside to my car to return the call at 11:30 and set up an interview for 2:30 tomorrow afternoon. I must’ve had a feeling I wasn’t going to finish the day out. Anyway, I logged on to my email around 1 pm and sent a message to my friend and former coworker Sabrina that said “Listen, I don’t think I’m going to last here very long. My coworker that sits next to me is very nice, but she looks like a man and I can’t stop looking at her. The country music they play is killing me. I’m not use to sitting right on top of someone without any privacy. The people here are not friendly except for the man (the woman next to me). I think they are haters (jealous) because I am stylish and pretty. I had to file 3 times already and I feel sick (nauseous). Hurry up and email me back so the time will pass.” Sabrina’s response 2 minutes later “ha ha ha you are funny. Don’t worry you’re probably just pregnant. JK Quit and come back here. I’ll tell *** you’re coming back. Are there any cute single Dr’s there? Hook me up with one.” Me: “No, Sabrina no cuties, just a bunch of ” I didn’t get a chance to finish my response because the lady next to me was giving me the evil eye and then my phone rang. It was my boss. This is the part (if I had a sitcom) where time would abruptly stop and I would look in to the camera and say to the viewers “ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?”Apparently when you send an email everyone in the office including off site employees receive it. Why didn’t they tell me this on Friday? Bastards! I was MORTIFIED and I think my face was red. Nah I know my face was red. My boss said my email was “inappropriate” and it could be grounds for termination and “this does not make you look good amongst your peers”. I could hear people in the back room talking sh*t (no clients were around). This lady (boss) was talking a little bit too loud for me and I went off!I cut her off and said (verbatim) “well, listening to country bumpkin music all damn day and getting evil looks from UGLY, jealous, raggedy coworkers and having a oompa loompa looking daughter that no white man in his right mind would marry so she had to go on eharmony to find a desperate self hating black man who was probably hiring call girls prior to her is inappropriate too, but I didn’t say anything about that now did I?” and then I hung up on her, looked at the woMAN beside me and said “sorry, but at least I said you were nice”, grabbed my pocketbook and left. Yes, I did. I’m horrible. I know. I guess that staircase to heaven has been destroyed huh A?I called Sabrina right away and told her what happened she was laughing so damn loud her manager came in to her office and told her to pipe it down (be quiet). She told him what happened and he started cracking up too. They had me on speaker phone rolling (laughing). I’m telling you this would only happen to me. Do you see what I mean about my life being an episode of Ally McBeal? I’m a walking sitcom that's going straight to hell in a Gucci handbag. I want the one Lucy Lui had in Cashmere Mafia. lolI will admit to being wrong for sending an email on the company computer for personal use and I was out of order with some of my remarks. I hope Sandra’s first day at work was better than my second. XOXO-Brunette Bombshell |
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